


Ride the Tide

by M3Gnificent



Category: XOXO Droplets (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, XOBD Continuity, she wanted me to write Jeremy killing Everett with tidepods so here the fuck we go, that god awful overdone tidepod meme, the narrator is JB, there is cussing here, this is a horrible shitpost born of a joke with a friend, this is not meant to be taken seriously so if you want quality writing then look elsewhere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 03:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13627206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/M3Gnificent/pseuds/M3Gnificent
Summary: Jeremy teaches Everett how to ride the tide, laundry detergent style





	Ride the Tide

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe that my first fanfic on this site is a shitpost, except I can. I'm not really sorry.

_When things go wrong, horribly, *horribly* wrong, a lot of people like to compare it to watching a trainwreck. Some large, immovable force being *crushed* by its own momentum. While apt, I like to think of what's going on right now as more of a cat in the washing machine._

"AAUGH! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME, YOU CRAZY CLOWN BITCH!"

Everett's in the middle of the meeting room, desperately hopping around and struggling to shake off the resident angry green grump. I don't think I've ever seen Jeremy quite this angry, but honestly, it's kind of hot. He's clinging to our resident hipster boy's back like some kind of furious spider monkey. One arm's around his neck, and the other's digging in his pockets. Poor Everett, despite his efforts, can't seem to yank him off even if his life depended on it. It's a good thing Nate went with Lynn to handle some business, or else this shitshow might end too soon. 

_The cat, you see, loves to fuck with the washing machine. Loves to claw at the pipes, peek its head behind the door, and leave its fur wherever it goes. It goes in and out as it pleases, daring the machine to do something about it. Finally, someone forgets the cat's inside and the cycle begins. The cat is tossed about and battered, left to drown in the heat and soap._

Literally, in this case, since Jeremy's pulled out a handful of fucking _tidepods_ and is shoving them down Everett's gullet like it's the last thing he'll ever do. I'm laughing my ass off, I just can't help it. I can't get over how none of the other jerks really give enough of a shit to step in. Bae, our resident Adult McGrownup Man, is off in a corner reading some book or another - completely ignoring the shouting. Pran's leaned against the wall and smirking. If he _could_ laugh, I'd bet money he'd be guffawing right along with me. And Shiloh? Well, who gives a fuck about Shiloh. He'll go along with whatever I do until Lynn inevitably walks in, and then he'll tattle like a bitch. But in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy myself.

It's not long after that, of course, that the two authorities return. Lynn and Nate immediately separate the two and Everett gets the medical attention he needs. Jeremy, somehow, gets a slap on the wrist - but ever since then the two have been fighting even worse than they usually did. But hell, that's one meeting I don't think I'll ever forget. ;)


End file.
